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Dr. Max, Professional Therapist* *Not really
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Send me an Angel September 3, 1997

Dear Dr. Max,

I am haunted by a recurring dream - I have this dream every night and sometimes in my daydreams. I open a suitcase and a giraffe emerges, I grab its neck and ride it as it rises, rises, rises into the clouds. I look, and Farrah Fawcett-Majors' face is in the clouds, watching me intently. I try to kiss her but fall off the giraffe. In the middle of my fall I realize I can fly and I move my arms up and down, up and down, faster and faster and faster. I'm sweating and breathless and then,.... slam, I fall to the ground. There King Kong picks me up and again I rise into the air... the whole dreams starts over again. 

PLEASE HELP ME DR. MAX... what is the meaning of the suitcase? 

Hurry! Troubled
 

Dear Troubled,

I notice you refer to Farrah Fawcett-Majors, 70's era braless crime buster, and not Farrah Fawcett (née Majors), blathering made-for-TV-movie personality of the late 80's and early 90's. Is she naked? 

Never mind! 

The interpretation of this dream is highly dependent on the sex of the person having it. Since I can't tell what sex you are from your return address, I'll have to provide two responses. Please select the reply which is most appropriate (or least inappropriate) to your situation. 

Femme: 

This is a very good dream for you. The fact that, as you're falling, you realize you can fly shows that you are self-reliant, resourceful and creative. That fact that King Kong helps you up shows that you are able to receive the support of others; even those who are outcasts or misfits from society. The giraffe often symbolizes stridency, peacefulness and awkward grace. I'm sure you're already aware of the homosexual overtones inherent in the "wanting to kiss Farrah Fawcett" bit. You were hoping I'd contradict these? Conversely, King Kong and the giraffe's long neck symbolize the more traditional attraction of a woman towards a man (a well-endowed man, at that). 

Homme: 

You feel that you are sexually inadequate, need your friends to get you out of trouble, and have a thing for hairy men and or men with long necks and or men with long hairy necks and or all of the above. Your real dream is to be hanging on to a Hell's Angel as he tools down the road on his hog. As Joseph Campbell once said, "follow your bliss." 

P.S. The suitcase is from one of those commercials of the 70's in which a gorilla baggage-handler knocks around a piece of luggage to show how durable it is. It means there's a few too many product-placement ads in the movies you watch. 
 

- Dr. Max

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